Viva Las Vegas! [Just don’t “viva” anywhere near me]

I don’t like Las Vegas. I went there as a child (8 yrs old, I think) and knew that as an adult, it was not a place I’d ever choose to go. Kamiah feels the same way, but ironically, is forced to go there for work roughly once a year. So why would we stop there?

Well, we had to stop in Las Vegas for several reasons:

1) It was convenient for Kamiah to fly there to meet us
2) It was the only convenient stopping point for the first leg of the journey
3) Sid hadn’t been there before and really wanted to go

So we really went because if we didn’t we’d only have to come back some other time and we’d be there for longer than 24 hrs. I had tried to explain to Sid that if LA wasn’t our speed, there was almost zero chance we’d like Vegas. But it is a spectacle, and such a cultural icon in America that he’d be missing out if he never saw it himself.

The first thing we noticed, aside from the phenomenal scale of the buildings, was the absolutely oppressive heat. Romeo and I had to drive around to the back of the hotel to park in the shade, and only after trying to stand as still as possible in the shade did I realize that 110F is that temperature where it doesn’t matter if you’re in the shade: it’s still blazing hot. We decided to chill (literally) in the hotel room until Kamiah arrived.

You see how the sun is mostly gone? It was still 101F when we took this picture on our way to get Kamiah.

Once Kamiah got in, we headed to the Cosmopolitan for dinner before our sightseeing. It was moderately priced for Vegas (according to Kamiah) but the food was fantastic. Kamiah got a pizza that had a duck egg cracked over it and spread around to cook. This was so good that after she had her first bite all she thought to say was “I want to hug this.” I believe that’s good.

After dinner we decided to try our luck at dollar slots, because they had the neat mechanical spinners and lots of flashing lights. Also because this is the only form of gambling we understand. The secret is to establish a spending limit before you start. For Kamiah, this was a dollar. For me, two dollars (because that’s what Sid handed me). On my very first try, I won $10! I cashed that out and then stupidly put my other dollar into the machine next to the first one and watched it disappear. I think that is the more typical gambling experience. I charitably split my winnings with Sid.

Kamiah tries her hand.

I win big.

Still high from our gaming success, we went to see the water show at the Bellagio, which was fantastic. It was also the last thing I think we truly enjoyed that night. For starters, the skies opened up on us and we had to rush to get into the Bellagio before the rain soaked us. This led to a confusing expedition through the casino trying to get from there to Caesar’s Palace. We finally made it outside (whew! Seriously, who makes a building that is *designed* to keep you inside? How does that work with the fire code?) and got across to Caesar’s. We only wanted to see the Shops with the neat sky-like ceiling and giant god-statues but we had to walk through the whole twisting, confusing casino to get there. And then we had to retrace our steps exactly to get out.

Go, water, go! It really was cool.

It was at this point that we realized none of us really enjoyed Vegas. Sure, the scale is phenomenal, and some of the attractions and buildings are cool (a pyramid? Really? Awesome!). But ruining all that, as they did LA, were people. They were everywhere. Want to cross the street? Stand in the this giant crowd. Want to walk 20ft over that way? Insta-crowd. I’m sure the crowded, deafeningly loud, supernova-bright Las Vegas Strip appeals to someone (it appeared to appeal to a lot of someones), but it sure as heck isn’t us.

 It’s pretty, but it’s no Eiffel Tower.

Do you know how hard we had to try to get this picture without someone walking in front?

So yeah, viva Las Vegas. Just “viva” as far away from me as possible.